Saturday, March 13, 2010

23:21 / 0 comments

exactly one week. wow.

yes i made mistakes. i know i didnt read instructions clearly. but there isnt a point in constantly repeating my mistake over and over again. trying to prove that im wrong 4 times over is redundant.

if you feel that there isnt a point in seeing a group of people that you knew for 2 years and have taken time to come out, or in thanking people who have helped you over the past 2 years, then dont even bother showing up. coming all the way then saying you'd rather be somewhere else defeats the organiser completely. or co-organiser, for that matter.

i want to change my ways and become better, and to make attempts to know you all again, but somehow i feel rebuffed and turned away from. sensitivity is a stupid thing, and emotions shouldnt get priority, but it just cant be helped.

all in all, for now, i'll try to go on doing what i have been trying to do, but i cant even guarantee myself that i'll last this way. hopefully the future will give me opportunities to forge better links. stronger bonds. with those who simply can understand.

and thank you for knowing that i still exist in some part of this world, and accepting me for who i am.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

00:04 / 0 comments

did much better than expected. really quite happy. =D

but some of the rest didn't get the grades they want. it's really quite disheartening, but i don't know what to say that could help them. being unable to help doesn't feel good, but someone told me that in this case, just let it go, since nothing much can really be done. grah.

feeling quite tired again, although may be cos of lack of sleep and boredom-overdose at work. then again, i think it's just my mental state being weak.

i really need to work out. period.

bubbye.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

23:59 / 0 comments

last day of the lunar new year. acknowledged 1 reader to my blog. not bad, considering it was revived only yesterday.

went for 15th day reunion at my uncle's place. ate, talked, mahjong. highlight: youngest sister (11) and 2 cousins of my cousin (10 and 6, if i'm not mistaken) were playing with sparklers. the next moment, we saw smoke and 2 police officers standing beside them. playing with fire with no adults supervising, and vandalism. ran down from 2nd floor to help clear up the mess, literal and metaphorical. another cousin helped. went up and realised i broke a porcelain cup when i ran down. 3 kids were screwed by respective parents.

there you have it. a fun zheng yue shi wu.

bubbye.

01:04 / 0 comments

been waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

short post.

1) fed up with myself. realised that i'm more confused than i first thought.

2) knows that guys, including myself, are superficial no matter how not superficial they (or i) say they (or i) are (am) not.

3) witnessed first-hand 2 teens running from a cab without paying. and didn't manage to stop them. and having the nagging feeling of not being able to do anything then. cos i could have stopped them with my dad if we had tried, just that my brain and reflexes were (and still are) super slow. gotta train.

yup. wanted to get these things down as soon as i could. okay, not so long post.

bubbye for now. hopefully will be back for more soon.

Friday, November 07, 2008

22:21 / 0 comments

somehow blogger's fonts are screwing up. or maybe just for me. and im finally updating again. seems like no one reads it, except for marvin. lol. heck... if this blog dies it dies... =)

monday: 
op. was okay, fun, etc. the external moderator (was he?) was laughing at POW's presentation, although i have no idea why. especially since their presentation (and all the other 3 groups) was (were) quite good. he's weird.. then i psp-ed. xD finally! haha thankew peggy! hijacked the psp for like almost the whole day after my presentation. brave story is quite fun, although takes a hell long to advance with my pace. 

then we went to find pizza! haha marvin and emelyne were like bringing a cake to the lt first for anying's birthday. then we sang and celebrated. OH before that sheryl and enlin were like playing catching in the ava room. and anying changed in there la. -.- hiding, of course. and esther and liyi were trying out the piano, and sheryl after she got tired of running from enlin. jon brought his guitar from somewhere, and played along to "can you feel the love tonight" with sheryl and/or liyi and/or esther, i cant remember. and the guys were fooling around, me included. then boxun started playing bridge with emelyne and esther and someone whom my memory cannot recall right now. >< 

then pizza! haha marvin and i went to collect at the canteen with mr chow. then he came back to outside ava room to eat with us! haha anying's insane la. its her birthday anyway. xD so the cameras were spammed, and choonchuan got called in twice to help us take photos. then we ate and cleared the place, and played more inside before moving to lt2 for the real thing because ava room power was cut.

sang/played like crazy in lt2. if teachers even passed by outside we would break the record of class demerit points. guys killed my keyboard with lf2, esther sophia enlin anying emelyne sheryl all going for the mike, liyi emelyne pekyee all over the cards and bridge/daidi. then halfway through charlene crashed. and then left quite soon after that. then at around 3 plus 4 emelyne left for training, the the girls left, then all left. haha yayness day. =)

went home and slept. too tired (probably mentally) after the thing happened. and even though i dont like how it turned out, im okay. i will try to make it better, hopefully make it work out even. but for now... yeah, it did hurt after a while, but i dont know...

cant remember what happened on tuesday. probably in too much of a daze due to monday.

wednesday:
went back for training! doctor said no judo, but heck, i went for pt. and found out that i was seriously unfit. pushed like crazy for only 15 minutes and then started tasting my breakfast with other stuffs. not good. rested, then tried continuing, but failed. pt finished, wanted to leave, but stayed in the end, to the end of training. practised some small techniques, no contact, and blahs. finished training, ate lunch with guys team, went back. and encountered the coldest rainy day i have seen yet. even the exhausts were condensing steam. quite cool. and saw lihong on the bus. she went to kk. good luck with whatever it is she was going for. 

thursday:
acres. how i felt doesnt matter. what matters is that 4 people turned up: kianmin, kaiyuan, bey and me. made our way there by bus and walking a hell of a distance, then reached, and waited another hour. apparently the people had told me the wrong time. anyway after that we got our shirts (those who didnt come couldnt get.) and went for a short tour around the place, then started work. split into 3 groups, we were in the third group doing a structure for creepers to grow on. basically 2 hours of measuring, hammering and sawing, then water break, then erected the structure. didnt like their way of working, but at least we got the whole thing up and standing finally. took group photos, got volunteer forms, then left the place. 

went to lot one for lunch with the guys. had kfc (#$%&) and sorts, then walked around, looked at music cds and sports apparel, then left. took train down to novena for checkup at nsc, met mum and sisters there. went through appointment, then went to ttsh to look for eye doctor, then waited for dad, then had dinner at square 2, then went grocerying at ntuc, then went home.

today:
nothing much. wanted to go jogging, but my headache said otherwise. practised piano, played some games, watched some tv, ate my meals, tried doing some physics, had piano lesson, informed class about cip, talked to some people, asked dad some stuffs, and now im here blogging. 

yay, you just read through one week of my life (that i actually remembered.) and are still alive and not blind. congrats.

anyway somethings happened this week that were not the best of events, and didnt go as expected (by me or by anyone else too.). feeling a bit down, but im still alive and kicking, although... yeah. thanks for those who helped me. cant name them, else something may stir up again. but still, thanks.

so now for the weird quiz that liyi tagged me for. removed all jap songs for simplicity's sake.

1. Put your music player on shuffle mode.
2.Press forward for each question.
3.Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. no cheating.
4.With your answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
5.Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
光良 - 勇气
(that's weird... maybe so. been feeling this way since monday. guess i need some help.)

Will you get far in life?
183club - 真爱
(EHH. i know love makes the world go round, but my life? o.O it doesnt make sense. heck. hope it does soon. wait, this is a quiz, not some prophecy. bleagh.)

How do your friends see you?
林俊杰 - 进化论
(EHH again. why would they view me as evolution? maybe those from my primary school. they have seen me transit and change my personality again and again... but those right now? haha maybe i did change over this year... but evolution seems too big a word to use.)

Will you get married?
陶喆 - 是是非非
(at least it would be clear when it gets down to it.)

What is your best friend's theme song?
七朵花 - 我只想要
(...)

What is the story of your life?
周杰伦 - 你听得到
(i do try to make myself heard, and i always try to listen to others. but there's more to it...)

What was high school like?
五月天 - 武装
(everyone IS guarding themselves, always shielding their true feelings and emotions, as well as hiding behind while attacking others. it may be invisible, it may be clear to the rest around, but there's always something there preparing anyone for battle. yeah, its high school.)

How can you get ahead in life?
孙燕姿 - Venus
(now this really makes no sense. unless im going to be an astronaut and make it to venus, or we all have to emigrate off earth due to pollution, and i so happen to travel to venus. that OR i can get really far, then burn myself badly, or suffocate in carbon dioxide. wow.)

What's the best thing about your friends?
Lucas Grabreel, Monique Coleman - Bop to the Top
(this is SO DARN relevant. heck, im in the only trip sci class in hcjc. heck, im in the best class there is. heck, all in this class are so freaking good in what they do/wanna do. heck, whoever i knew is now in a super pro position. heck, whoever i have as a friend is pro. xD)

What's in store for this weekend?
周华健 - 雨人
(so... im going to be the rain man this weekend? maybe its just going to rain and rain and rain. and then rain some more. mm. i love the rain. so never mind. heh.)

Describe your grandparents.
S.H.E. - Remember
(this one is scary... yeah, i miss them. and the only grandparent i have, my paternal grandmother, i wish her the best of health, and hope she recovers soon, if at all. damn it hurts.)

How's your life going?
98 Degrees, Stevie Wonder - True to your Heart
(i am, and still am, and will still be. =))

What song will they play at your funeral?
五月天 - 忘词
(i dont even wanna think about it.)

How does the world see you?
Alvin and the Chipmunks - The Girls of Rock and Roll
(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... *collapses on the floor, writhing, twitching, foams at the mouth*)

Will you have a happy life?
陶喆 - 忘不了
(one that i'll remember forever. yup. hopefully. =))

Do people secretly lust after you?
Elvis Presley - (You're the) Devil in Disguise
(dont puke. your computer will spoil, and you will die from the electrical shocks. mine almost did, and im lucky i survived.)

How can you make yourself happy?
S.H.E. - 天灰
(i DO like the rain (and playing in it)... xD)

What should you do with your life?
林俊杰 - 不死之身
(immortality. i wish. yet maybe not.)

Will you ever have children?
S.H.E. - Watch Me Shine
(this sounds totally wrong. seriously.)

What song would you strip to?
陶喆 - 夜来香
(literally, no. play it while im going to take a bath/change, maybe.)

What does your mum think of you?
周杰伦 - 女孩别为我哭泣
(HAHAHA! maybe she knows me better than i think.)

What song would be played at your wedding?
孙燕姿 - 坏天气
(nahh... better songs to be played. nice song though. xD)


tags x5. 
1. anying.
2. yx.
3. sheryl.
4. jon.
5. mr ong wei jian.

thankew. and dont ask why i tagged the above people. i have no idea.

done, so bubbye. 

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

23:12 / 0 comments

marvin partially true la. haha. i think this blog can die soon. >< cant really think of what to write. hence im actually doing the bloody long quiz from liyi.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
C) Continue this game by sending it to other tags!:

1. yx.

2. jy.

3. nic.

4. sp.

5. sheryl.

6. anying.

7. enlin. (what liyi said.)

8. i have no idea who else to tag. the rest all do already.


01. What have you been doing recently?

op, school, games, sleep, eat, prepare some tech stuffs.


02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?

never. it just dies when there's no more battery.


03. What happened at 10.00am today?

a lot of things. i ended up playing freecell and listening to music while enlin was doing the ppt and xueqin was studying with jiali and emelyne was eating with pekyee and liyi was in the library and anying and her friend came along and i dont know where the rest are.


04. When did you last cry?

long ago. funeral.


05. Believe in fate/destiny?

guess so.


06. What do you want in your life right now?

self-discipline and control. and self-esteem.


07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?

no umbrella. my hair repels water, according to kaiyuan.


08. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?

me.


09. What bottom are you wearing now?shorts?

grey shorts.


10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?

"happy birthday!"


11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?

no idea.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?

no.


13. What was the last movie you caught?.....

mission impossible 2. at home. its a movie, so it counts right? if not... i cant remember. ><


14. What are you proud of?

my parents. =)


15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?

"haha i only can do if i jump then inch my head forward :p yay okay if you don't find it boring :)" my vj friend whom i met in sec 3, talking about vertical pull-ups and her guitar concert. miss her. ><


16. What was the last song you sang out loud?

no idea. some lin jun jie song playing from enlin's selection, in school.


17.Do you have any nicknames?

obviously.


18. What does your last received text message say?

"Haha mayb u can suggest them sum outfit then if they dun wan then nvm lor XD u decide w marvin lar!" the author is unmistakable. talking about tomorrow's fac outing, guys' outfits. cos girls decided on dress/skirts. final decision: none made.


19. What time did you go to bed last night?

around 12 plus.


20. Are you currently happy?

probably. o.O


21. Who gives you best advice?

everyone? i just selectively listen and follow. ><


22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?

sometimes. =)


23. Who did you talk on phone last night?

no one.


24. Is anything bugging you right now?

yeah. my eye. right eye. and my multiple blisters.


25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?

liyi. her blog. this quiz.


26. Do you wear toe socks?

no.


27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?

my mum.


28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?

probably.


29. What annoys you most in a person?

a super negative mentality to match/that surpasses mine.


30. Do you have a crush on anyone?

yeah. its 'did', not 'do'.


31. Have you ever done cocaine?

funny.


32. What is the colour of your room?

blue and white and multi-coloured.


33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?

no. just me is enough.


34. Do you believe in the saying : talk is cheap?

yeah. but i do it quite often. ><


35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?

me.


36. Who was the last person to hug you?

havent done that in ages. ><


37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?

even worse/longer than above.


38. Do you have a life?

sometimes. right now, no. but that's social. otherwise i wouldnt be doing something like this.


39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt die?

yeah. dreams can be too life-like. scary...


40. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?

no idea.


41. Last time you smiled?

less than 10 minutes ago.


42. Have you changed this year?

yeah. quite a bit.


43. What are you listening right now?

the bus rolling past outside my house and my keyboard tapping.


44. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?

no.


45. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?

open. except for times when i try to train my eyes and end up getting motion sickness. ><


46. what do u look for in the opposite sex?

a nice heart and personality. someone who can help me change.


47. Is there a quote you live by?

always keep your words. + determination.


48. Do you want someone you cannot have?

i think so... no idea.


49. Have you ever played an instrument?

yeah. recorders rule. the past.


50. What was the worst idea you've had in this week?

all ideas are still ideas. to me at least. so none.


51. What are you doing last night at 11pm?

op.


52. Are you happy with your love life right now?

dont have one.


53. What song best describe your love life?

twinkle twinkle little star.


54. Does the person know that you like him/her?

i dont know... guess not.


55. Who always make you laugh?

anyone can make me laugh. =)


56. Do you speak other language other than English?

yeah.


57. Favourite website(s)?

smb. actually strike that. none.


58. What's your middle name?

none.


59. What are you doing tomorrow?

sleep, lecture, play tennis (hopefully), eat lunch, fac outing, laptop stuffs.


60. What do you think you are like?

i'll leave this for you to think about when you read my quiz.


61. Who will you choose to die with?

why on earth would i want someone to die when i die? i dont want other people to die with me. they should die before me. so they wont suffer when i die.


62. Where have you been today?

school.


63. What game do you play often?

genre = racing/driving or (mmo)rpg.


64. Who are you missing right now?

no one in particular.


65. If you have to choose between friends and love, who will you choose?

neither. i would just go home to my parents. yeah, im weak.


66. What are you doing right now?

quiz, printing stuffs for xueqin.


67. Which primary school are you from?

peichun public.


68. Name 3 colours that you like?

silver. chrome. white.


69. What emotion do you like to show?

joy? no idea.


70. What is your life to you?

something to colour in with family, relatives and friends.


71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?

usually just keep it in. until i lose myself and start self-mutilating then MAYBE tell selected people. and yes i used to self-mutilate. NOT by cutting.


72. Who did you last chat in msn today?

jon. about class outing and fac outing.


73. Who do you admire most?

my dad. =)


74. Which month are you born in?

april.


75. How are you feeling right now?

sleepy. crap, liyi, you made me yawn when you typed yawn here. -.-


76. What is the time now?

23:55. dont oversleep tomorrow.


77. What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?

insane, crazy, zi-high, fun, optimistic. =)


78.What colour did you use to dye hair?

dont dye your hair. esther knows why.


79. Why are you doing this test?

i have no idea why i listened to instructions on a computer screen.


80. What do you do when you're moody

listen to music, stone, read, sleep, exercise.


81. At which age you wish to get married?

let me find a 对象 first.


82. Who is more important to you?

all my loved ones. primarily my immediate family.


83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?

find all the people who have made an impact in my life. thank s73. thank teachers. thank relatives. spend the rest of my time with my parents (and maybe selected people?).


84. Who is the person you trust the most?

myself.


85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?

yeah. scientifically proven. sorry.


86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?

not telling.


87. What is your goal for this year?

to keep to my goals for next year, since this year is ending.


88.Do you believe in eternity love?

no, but probably eternal love.


89. What feeling do you love most?

genuine appreciation for who i really am.


90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?

yeah. quiz too long, author dunno what question to write already is it?


91. What feeling do you hate most?

i cant say i hate hatred the most, because that would be contradictory. cant remember what dr richard arnold taught us. ><


92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

yes. but i dont know how to maintain them.


93. Do you believe in God?

i dont know.


94. Who cares for you most?

my family, i guess.


95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

my values as a person.


96. What will you bring when you fight?

my brains.


97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?

many stuff. top on the list: making my parents mad.


98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?

nothing. i'd be dead by then.


99. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?

break up.


100. How do you feel now?

that i probably wasted quite a bit of my time on this quiz. many errors.. but heck. its a nice thing to do, and helped me reflect.


completed a 100 question quiz. funny man. my parents would kill me if they knew i was doing these kinds of stuff... have to sleep now. good night.

エメィン。僕は何をしていますか。うああああ…　今は考えない。混乱します。
シエン、読んでいるんだったら、誰も話せないでください。お願いね。

bubbye.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

22:24 / 0 comments

BLOG UPDATE.

OMG its been like almost 3 weeks since i last touched this blog la. haha thanks to 3 people for 3 tags. xDD shows why i shouldnt even keep this blog alive...

but alive it shall remain. no matter how sad it is. xD who cares anyway. haha...

THANKS 08S73 for helping me in whatever way for the past week. =)
special mention to marvin, kaiyuan, bey, zijie, jon, enlin and jiali(!) for visiting me last fri (17/10) and the rest for bringing me the fruits and homework (><). all eaten by family already. xD (haha emelyne's small apple!)
special mention to charlene for keeping in contact and supporting me throughout too. cant bear to open the gift. ><
thanks mrs chua for calling on my mum. =)
and THANKS to anyone else whom i forgot. heh.

anyway whether my op is a success of not still depends. the surgery itself was successful, obviously, and so far no infection setting in *touch wood*. all thats left is training my eye to look straight once more. but seems quite difficult leh. >< still hurts.

lol for op details i shall refrain from typing here. want details ask me directly. and for goodness' sake my eye was NOT removed from its socket, nor was my face but open to operate on the eye, nor will i fully recover all my eyesight.

oh and i get motion sickness by using the operated eye only and trying to walk. =S not a good feeling. mum scolded me for trying that out. lol.

no sports for another 3 weeks. and even then light sports only. T.T

PW WR finally handed in. word count and cd left to hand in. yeah i know my group's kinda late, but we did try our best to hand in on time... my fault, kay? yeah, i didnt manage to complete my tasks sufficiently enough, and had to redo them. plus my 3+ days off didnt help much too. but at least we are done. and our (my) op (part) still isnt doing too well. i cant memorise my lines, and im like super nervous even when practising. gg.

school's almost out. and next year's a killer year. dunno whats going to happen to our class, with h3 and dropping and downgrading and (possible) upgrading of subjects.

二月の時間に、スポツしない。困難な時間ね。でも僕は心配しない、友達があるんですから。
今の感情に当惑する。エメリンへの感情は普通か。本当に解りません…

im thinking that there should be a number of grammatical errors or whatnot in there, but its the best i can do now. im still learning! haha.

okay i'll think of more interesting things to blog about next time. for now, no more. bubbye. =)

~

enlin: LOL yeah i know. figured that out while recovering in hospital bed. xD
liyi: xD
marvin: updated. yeah i have nothing much to say and my life isnt that all interesting... >< plus i dont know what to write about.