yeah, my blog is pretty much dead. i have no idea what to write already. my life is so boring.

just came back from exoro demo thing with zijie and bey. the game seems quite fun, although super confusing and all. and our team got 3rd out of 6 in the demo round. not bad, but not very good. ><

reading and remembering things through other people's blogs again. haha. arts fest performance was fun and nice. the band song and co song super fun la! haha. and the dances were cool. and the choir people = a lot. o.O haha didnt realise. guitar played the same song, and strings performance was nice too. harmoc had a unique tone, but very nice too. (sorry esther! i really hoped to see you up there performing. ><) haha liyi was telling me after that that zhonghu had really little to play. and she was scolding me for not knowing where zhonghu had a melody part la. -.- paiseh, im partially tone-deaf.

OUR (skeletal) BRIDGE (or "bridge") got like 2nd for load-weight ratio la! haha and aesthetics also not bad. but may get disqualified because no base. >< cars still can go past what. 2 wheels on each side lar. cannot meh!? and trains can cross also! and people can walk on the sides what! WHY CANNOT?!?! rahh. (but no base means less weight. xD whoops.)

the holidays have started! although i wouldnt call them holidays. june isnt going to be fun overall. 2 training camps (my poor knees... T.T), exoro, daily studying... at least i have a 2-day vacation and a few gatherings to look forward to.

okay have to go. thinking of going to project within's roadshow before dinner. soup for dinner! xD yeah i love soup. any kind of soup. although double boiled chicken's the best. yay bubbye.

i wanna PLAY. anything. and SLEEP. and go out. =)

im seriously a bloody hypocrite. telling others to cheer up and believe in themselves and take care of themselves and here i am shitting myself.

i need a change in life. plan out june hols. even though more than half of it is training. top 10 to-do list:
1. sleep.
2. homework/revision.
3. sleep.
4. revision/homework/practice.
5. sleep.
6. reading. (i need a new book or 2! T.T)
7. sleep.
8. going out/playing/exercising/sports/games.
9. homework.
10. sleep.
yeah. training not included as it is going to be part of daily regime soon. wth. but i need to get stronger anyways.

so yeah. maybe i should believe in myself more first and take more care of myself before telling others what to do.

school's getting heated up again. tensions between 2 groups. maybe more. 2 individuals getting segregated. several suffering in various stuff (grades, social life, health, fitness, etc.). yeah... things WILL get better. yup. =)

and SEE. i cant remember anything again. except that i went for vjc guitar concert after training today. which was very different from the hc concert. there was intro to the whole ensemble instruments, and there were ONLY guitars performing, with bands and honorary guest performance. SUPER COOL. haha the whole place was rocking to jenny! and the conductor super cute la. dancing to mambo number 5 while asking the crowd to join in singing. xDD

please tell me by tonight (sat night, 17/5) if you are going to join the 30-hour famine. i can help you sign up. and STRONGLY encouraged to sign up as game masters (17 years and above, free on 31/5 for full day trial, and actual camp) or as general helpers (15 years/above, free on actual camp). yup. once again, its $30 to join. and to me, its quite worth it.

okay sleep now. once again, way past my bedtime. bubbye.

just saw this from a friend's msn nick.

http://peanutcups.livejournal.com/

its quite sad, but very touching and encouraging. please, support her with your heart. even if you are not christian, or are not related to sngs, or any other reasons/excuses there may be, just be there with her in your heart. and dropping a note wouldnt hurt as well. =)

stay strong, vanessa. i may not know you, but all the same, i will be supporting you. just as everyone else is. as a born-in-'91 student as well, and a former exchange student to sngs, i bid you good luck, and all the best.

blearh. i keep screwing up everything. i keep saying i should do this and i keep telling myself i will do that, and yet i dont. mm. problem...

anyways, my acads grades are seriously worrying a lot of people. firstly, me. secondly, my parents (who are trying to get me into tuition, saying that i seriously need help. which i dont deny.). thirdly, my teachers (mrs chua, obviously, who's already trying to help with maths; mr wong, who wanted to speak to me but didnt answer my sms; plus random others.). there may be more, but these are the most affected groups of people. T.T im trying to work hard. (and here i am blogging. wth.)

yeah. school seems more fun now, though. even though i still cant remember half the things that happened over the past week. all i can remember is mrs chua's birthday card-thingy, which EMELYNE and ESTHER worked super hard to accomplish (yay THANKS! haha great job manss. caps to emphasize. xD) which we couldnt give on tues (her birthday) cos she was too busy. then we gave her on wed, and sang her birthday song before class started. then everything went back to normal. mm.

went for dance night full dress rehearsal ytd! haha it was cool. all the dances were super nice la. although got one or two super dark theme. like some kinda cult or related doing some kind of ritual. o.O but yeah, the dances were nice. saw a lot of people on stage. but no mentions here. lol. too many la. plus i cant remember all. then my mum told me that we would be free on sat night. wth la, and i just sold off my ticket.

gems on sun! no idea if im looking forward to it or not. but it should be fun la, hopefully. although some people will have to wake up super early. PLEASE reach my place at 11 am SHARP so we can begin on time. for those who have trouble finding my place, or want to meet up first, 10:45 am at serangoon mrt station. lunch SHOULD be provided. oh, and the ingredients/stuff all bought le. yeah.

got lotsa things to do during june. training camp x2, training every week, schoolwork catching up, mugging for bts, cip, 30-hour famine (!), outings. which reminds me. if you see this, please remind others and yourself to send me a list of days you will/will NOT be free (confirmed dates, at least) so that i can organise some class outings. i know anying wants to go iceskating. =) anymore ideas for class outing?

i need a change in my life. my daily life. i know what to do, and all i need is my own motivation to change. jia you daryl. and animals that live in the poles are in danger of drowning, especially those in the north pole, like polar bears and seals (and santa claus) due to climate change. summer ice melting rates are increasing, some claiming due to global warming. even so, we may have an ice-free north pole soon (which sucks). so the (stupid) 5 nations (canada, denmark, norway, russia and the united states) who are trying to lay claim on north pole territories should stop trying to increase their borders; instead, they should lower their contributions to increasing global temperatures.

yet in what position am i to say the above? oh wells. bubbye.

歌曲： 喜欢
歌手： 古巨基
词曲: 阿怪
编: 黄中岳


喜欢你的头发
喜欢你的脸颊
喜欢你微笑的时候眼里藏不住的光
喜欢你的害羞
喜欢你的疯狂
想要一天二十四个小时守在你身旁

喜欢开你玩笑
喜欢叫你傻瓜
喜欢吓你一跳的时候看你慌张的模样
喜欢搭你肩膀
喜欢你会怕痒
喜欢趁你没有防备偷袭你的手指甲

想要抱你一下
贴紧我的胸膛
想要告诉你这样下去不是办法
想要把你绑架
想要带你回家
想要非常认真严肃的承诺地老天荒
想要非常认真严肃的承诺地老天荒

思念你令我惊慌想到你令我膨胀
你的每个笑容都会令我幸福的快爆炸
见你的时候我总是说些傻呼呼的蠢话
令我随时随地濒临疯狂

~

yayy. even though i dont know how to change the font type and size. xD

im tired. still have training tomorrow morning. body pain. piles of schoolwork undone. phy online test to do. next wed phy test.

okay, look on the bright side. the weekend is here. and mother's day is tomorrow! haha. =) its saturday today already. oh no. sleepy time. bubbye.

oh, and the timing should be changed to 11am-3pm on 18 may for gems. yeah. i think i'll post on class blog. more prominent. but maybe later in the afternoon... skipping sentosa trip to revise. -.-

got a bit of time before going to do physics.

monday was crazy. chem is dead la. and i think i got an overall last for chem (and most other subjects) in class. >< then training very bad shape. not even up to sec 4 standard. wth.

tuesday was part bad. gp was haaaaard. didnt finish aq. screwed. the day was super long, but the rest of the day had its merits. at least i didnt sleep in econs. although i didnt bring lecture 12 notes... and i did chem tutorial! xD then went to crash siyuan's h1 jap class again. i really like that class la. the people are so close and all. they even accepted me when they heard i took jap till sec 4. nice. =)

wed was kinda fun. chem lab (i did tutorial again! wahaha. xD) then maths tutorial. which was bad. then went to pulau tekong bmtc for tour. the place is nice la. much nicer than what i expected. although i have a feeling that in 2 years time im not going to feel the same way. >< but the overall tour was nice. mr bean show! haha. then the intro by second-in-command of bmtc school 1 major effendi and experiences by a lieutenant (forgot his name). then live tour. the bunks are cool. and the annex is super nice. the obstacle course is scary. and the food was way better than i thought. (they have dessert!) yeah. skipped training.

thur (today) wasnt so bad. maths tutorial wasnt good as usual, but i tried. bio lecture, then lab. the experiment is hard. chem lecture had a bit of fun watching the reaction. then got scolded by liyi for talking too much. ><>< training. and a girl in siyuan's h1 jap class thinks im gay. o.O

yeah, my life seems dull. haha.. i wanna go out sometime. met some people rollerblading in bishan, made me feel like going to blade. maybe i'll just pull them out for a spin over the weekend.. and i need to work out! im weak. T.T

oh, and the gems can start at 11? may have something on in the evening, going out of the house. so unless you want to stay at my place and play/help guard it until late at night, we have to end before 6. i think. and i dont know how to draw the big calendar-thingy for the class! T.T yeah.

okay physics/pw time. bubbye.

sure. labour day was relaxing. friday wasnt so bad. saturday was cool, with apollo fac outing and all.

now that we all have had our fun, just shut the ___ up and go away, yeah? leave me alone. let me rot in my self-denial and inferiority complex shit. let me get lost, and lose myself in my own head. just sit back, for once, and see me disappear. thats probably what half of you want anyway. yeah, emotions are complex. dont let them control you. what the hell. nice, eh, when we can all keep our feelings in check. even when some bloody idiot is constantly screaming at you to go back and do what you were supposed to do.

i want to play too. i want to train as well. i wanna hang out and stuff. but what can i even do with all these things around me? im trying to get rid of them as much as i can. i appreciate all the help that im getting from all those with me.

but its just you. one thing. a single, lone something that is leading me off track and staying stationary.

im tired. but thanks a lot.

~

an edit: the thing stated above isnt anyone i know. heck, it isnt even a person. its something i dont like, but is stuck with me. i cant say i hate me, or it, but i dont like that way it is. freak, i even cursed. whats the matter with me?